Wearing a head covering is hard. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like it is not. But for my life, it is a spiritual practice that makes me more mindful of God...draws me closer to Him. I reckon if ascetics in the middle ages chose to wear hair shirts in order to keep themselves more in a constant state of mindfulness, repentance before God, and prayer, then I can wear my soft chiffon head scarf for the same reason...and with joy. What a small sacrifice this is! And what a joy it can be.
When I look in the mirror, I'm finally at peace with what I see looking back at me.
But it's still hard. It's those doubts that creep in. "Will my friends judge me?" "Will someone scold me for this?" "What will they think?"
All such thoughts assail me. It's easy to wear my scarf at home, or out running errands where I only see strangers. But it's wondering what my friends will think that really gets to me. As the weeks creep by, I've worn my scarf to more and more places, and it seems like I've had occasion to see and be seen by more and more people from my Church. I'm almost past worrying about it, but not quite.
Last week, I had to stop off at the home of some dear friends, and ended up having lunch there: Me and my big fat head scarf. It was no big deal. Then there was a birthday party we'd been invited to. Again, it turned out to be no big deal. Then this morning my son's piano lesson...I'm friends with his teacher and I'd already told her I was thinking of doing the big fat headscarf thing, so she wasn't surprised. And again I visited some other friends today...and again...how I was dressed was simply accepted and did not come up.
I often wonder to myself if I am creating a barrier between me and other people by wearing a head scarf...but I am coming to the conclusion that if it will build a barrier it is because a barrier is already there for other reasons. Perhaps someone does not want to be friends with me because I have a "weird/autistic" family. Perhaps someone does not like the fact that I'm the wrong religion...or that my personality is overbearing, or that I'm sick too much; whatever reason. I am learning to see that the biggest barrier between myself and other people is my own lack of love. God forgive and change me! Yes, wearing a scarf is helping me realize this. That insight alone ought to be reason enough.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
My Big Fat Orthodox Head Scarf
Ya'll, I've finally taken the BIG PLUNGE. I've finally started putting a scarf on my head whenever I go out...and one that covers...oh shock oh sudder...ALL my hair and my neck as well! (there's a very convenient arabic word for this look...it's called "Hijab" which bascially just means "veil".
I think I blogged about this whole "hanging down veil" (Katakalupto, to use the Greek word) a few weeks ago.
yes, I've been doing it. Consistently. It helps that I live a very isolated life and I hardly ever run into anyone who might KNOW me and wonder about how weird I am. But the longer I wear this style, the more confident I am with it and the better I like it.
Because, here it is, y'all...it's SO EASY. It doesn't come off. It looks nice. It is simple and quick and there's none of that slidy nonsense.
And it is not so very very hot, either.
My favorite way to wear a scarf, is a big 40 or so inch square, turned into a triangle and then done up in Turkish style. Perhaps someday I'll make a video...but y'all, there are tons of youtube vids, just do a search on Turksh hijab, and those gals are actually good looking. So there...I just decided...no video from me.
What good is this practice doing me, you ask?
Well, for one thing there's a level of contentment because for years I've been wanting to veil this way and so I feel like I'm finally being "me". KWIM?
When I'm out, I feel the religious prejudice that exists in this country. I do get dirty looks...Some purse clutching as I walk by in the grocery aisle...a withering stare. I offer these things up to Christ. I am veiling for my Lord, and not for anyone else. Experiencing this very mild...whatever it is, helps me to be aware of my own judgmental thoughts. I can then turn those thoughts into prayers of repentance and intercession for the person I'm having thoughts about, and asking for mercy on my own soul. Veiling has always helped my prayer life and my thought life.
The other day I was asked by a worker at a store where I was shopping if I was muslim. I smiled and said "No, I'm a Christian." He looked confused and perhaps a bit disappointed and that was the end of our conversation. No one seems to notice my cross necklace or brooch. Most of the veiled women I do see in my area are probably muslim...most, not all. I'm living proof that one should not judge based on appearances.
A few years ago I was at a women's retreat and the abbess who was giving the talk made the following radical statement: "If you want to take your spiritual life seriously, then start by dressing as if you are going to visit a monastery."
I felt like she threw down the gauntlet. I picked it up. We'll see where this challenge takes me.
I think I blogged about this whole "hanging down veil" (Katakalupto, to use the Greek word) a few weeks ago.
yes, I've been doing it. Consistently. It helps that I live a very isolated life and I hardly ever run into anyone who might KNOW me and wonder about how weird I am. But the longer I wear this style, the more confident I am with it and the better I like it.
Because, here it is, y'all...it's SO EASY. It doesn't come off. It looks nice. It is simple and quick and there's none of that slidy nonsense.
And it is not so very very hot, either.
My favorite way to wear a scarf, is a big 40 or so inch square, turned into a triangle and then done up in Turkish style. Perhaps someday I'll make a video...but y'all, there are tons of youtube vids, just do a search on Turksh hijab, and those gals are actually good looking. So there...I just decided...no video from me.
What good is this practice doing me, you ask?
Well, for one thing there's a level of contentment because for years I've been wanting to veil this way and so I feel like I'm finally being "me". KWIM?
When I'm out, I feel the religious prejudice that exists in this country. I do get dirty looks...Some purse clutching as I walk by in the grocery aisle...a withering stare. I offer these things up to Christ. I am veiling for my Lord, and not for anyone else. Experiencing this very mild...whatever it is, helps me to be aware of my own judgmental thoughts. I can then turn those thoughts into prayers of repentance and intercession for the person I'm having thoughts about, and asking for mercy on my own soul. Veiling has always helped my prayer life and my thought life.
The other day I was asked by a worker at a store where I was shopping if I was muslim. I smiled and said "No, I'm a Christian." He looked confused and perhaps a bit disappointed and that was the end of our conversation. No one seems to notice my cross necklace or brooch. Most of the veiled women I do see in my area are probably muslim...most, not all. I'm living proof that one should not judge based on appearances.
A few years ago I was at a women's retreat and the abbess who was giving the talk made the following radical statement: "If you want to take your spiritual life seriously, then start by dressing as if you are going to visit a monastery."
I felt like she threw down the gauntlet. I picked it up. We'll see where this challenge takes me.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
New Scarves!
My new scarves came in the mail today! I love them! I think they are soooo pretty! I know none of them match my blouse. I just threw them on so I could show you all.
I think the blue is my favorite...until I look at the pink or green...I like them all.
I bought them at this etsy shop: Covered Ladies Designs.
As many as have been baptized into Christ...
What then is this robe, which of all robes, is the most beautiful? Lord, Thou doest wish to give me nothing less than thyself. The mystery of the garment has been formulated for us most concisely and most powerfully by thy servant Paul: 'For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.' And so this mystery of the garment finds itself linked to the mystery of water, of washing...The mystery of the garment conceals still further depths. I will point them out with restraint. The prophet Isaiah said, 'My soul shall be joyful in my God; for my hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.' This brief allusion reveals to us the nuptial aspect of the bond which unites the soul to its Saviour. Each time that I dress myself, I take upon me Jesus Christ. I cover myself with the Beloved. I can make each act of dressing into a sort of private 'taking of the habit.' I can make every garment into a sign and a vehicle of grace. Clothe me truly with Thyself, O Thou Who art for every man 'the finest robe.'
Father Lev Gillet, from 'In Thy Presence'
Father Lev Gillet, from 'In Thy Presence'
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
An Interesting Blog Post and Comments
Some of you might find this interesting: "Head Coverings" on the blog Energetic Procession
20 Reasons You Might Wear a Head Covering...
that have nothing to do with "religion"
1. festering sores on one's scalp
2. dirty hair
3. head lice
4. hair loss
5. unhealthy hair due to illness
6. to hide one's age
7. because one is cold
8. bad hair day
9. protect from wind
10. protect from sunburn
11. to keep hair out of food that you are cooking
12. fashion accessory
13. to keep hair out of one's eyes
14. to cover up a horrible hair cut
15. to spice up a boring outfit
16. to challenge social convention
17. As an act of rebellion against an immodest culture
18. modesty
19. because it changes your spiritual energy flow
20. BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT!
1. festering sores on one's scalp
2. dirty hair
3. head lice
4. hair loss
5. unhealthy hair due to illness
6. to hide one's age
7. because one is cold
8. bad hair day
9. protect from wind
10. protect from sunburn
11. to keep hair out of food that you are cooking
12. fashion accessory
13. to keep hair out of one's eyes
14. to cover up a horrible hair cut
15. to spice up a boring outfit
16. to challenge social convention
17. As an act of rebellion against an immodest culture
18. modesty
19. because it changes your spiritual energy flow
20. BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Covering: At Home and Abroad
Christian women who wear a veil, or head covering, in obedience to the word of God in 1 Corinthians 11 have a different motivation that women of other faiths who wear a veil.
While there is an element of modesty in a Christian covering, there is also that element of "because of the Angels" (whatever THAT means) and an element of prayer. For many of us, wearing a "prayer covering" calls to mind the injunction to "pray without ceasing". As an Orthodox Christian, this takes the form of praying the Jesus Prayer as often as I can call it to mind...when my mind is idle about other things. Of course I pray other prayers, too, thoughout my day.
Wearing a head covering is like a challenge to myself to be more prayerful. Who can argue with that, right?
But lately I've been feeling the yen(actually this has been a long time in coming) to wear even more of a covering when I'm out and about, running errands and such. Deliberately donning a larger scarf that covers almost all of my hair (sometimes I leave a little bit of my front hair showing), and wraps around my neck.
So I've actually started following that yen. I've been wearing more of a full coverage scarf out and about. And I'm getting more and more comfortable with this.
In a way, wearing a bigger scarf when out of the house delineates the time and space in my life. At home, things are more relaxed. This is where I belong. This is my place of peace and comfort. Out side of my home, I have that added layer of protection. I like it. A giant tent-like scarf also hides the drips of food that inevitably land on my shirt at mealtimes. ;-) I'm SOOOOO classy!
Wearing a scarf...essentially what amounts to "Hijab" but not quite, when I'm out an about has gotten me some standoffish looks from some people. I've been stared at a time or two. Some might argue that this is a negative thing and that I'm drawing attention to myself to do this. Perhaps I am. But for years I've wanted to dress this way, and there's nothing wrong with dressing this way. I'm getting to the point of being OK with being an oddity. Somewhere the Bible says something about Christians
being a "peculiar people", right?
So, at home, it's a snood or a bandana. Going out it's more of Hijab style scarf or a tichel...something a little dressier than a bandana. Another one of my oddities is that I'm just not a "jeans and t-shirts" type of gal. Skirts and blouses are more my uniform. I just realized that doing this, I could actually wear a capp at home, if I wanted to! No one would know if I cover it with a giant scarf before leaving the house. He he he.
While there is an element of modesty in a Christian covering, there is also that element of "because of the Angels" (whatever THAT means) and an element of prayer. For many of us, wearing a "prayer covering" calls to mind the injunction to "pray without ceasing". As an Orthodox Christian, this takes the form of praying the Jesus Prayer as often as I can call it to mind...when my mind is idle about other things. Of course I pray other prayers, too, thoughout my day.
Wearing a head covering is like a challenge to myself to be more prayerful. Who can argue with that, right?
But lately I've been feeling the yen(actually this has been a long time in coming) to wear even more of a covering when I'm out and about, running errands and such. Deliberately donning a larger scarf that covers almost all of my hair (sometimes I leave a little bit of my front hair showing), and wraps around my neck.
So I've actually started following that yen. I've been wearing more of a full coverage scarf out and about. And I'm getting more and more comfortable with this.
In a way, wearing a bigger scarf when out of the house delineates the time and space in my life. At home, things are more relaxed. This is where I belong. This is my place of peace and comfort. Out side of my home, I have that added layer of protection. I like it. A giant tent-like scarf also hides the drips of food that inevitably land on my shirt at mealtimes. ;-) I'm SOOOOO classy!
Wearing a scarf...essentially what amounts to "Hijab" but not quite, when I'm out an about has gotten me some standoffish looks from some people. I've been stared at a time or two. Some might argue that this is a negative thing and that I'm drawing attention to myself to do this. Perhaps I am. But for years I've wanted to dress this way, and there's nothing wrong with dressing this way. I'm getting to the point of being OK with being an oddity. Somewhere the Bible says something about Christians
being a "peculiar people", right?
So, at home, it's a snood or a bandana. Going out it's more of Hijab style scarf or a tichel...something a little dressier than a bandana. Another one of my oddities is that I'm just not a "jeans and t-shirts" type of gal. Skirts and blouses are more my uniform. I just realized that doing this, I could actually wear a capp at home, if I wanted to! No one would know if I cover it with a giant scarf before leaving the house. He he he.
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